Do couples really sleep apart

You bet they do! And, for many, it's not because they don't love each other. In a lot of instances it's because they do love each other that they choose to sleep apart. Actually, sleeping in different bedrooms, or maybe even separate beds, can be a relationship saver. As long as time for intimacy is allowed, sleeping apart may be just what the doctor ordered for certain couples.

Some statistics seem to reinforce this living arrangement. A 2005 survey by the National Sleep Foundation found that 23 percent of married Americans slept alone. This was up from 12 percent in 2001. The National Associations of Home Builders reports the number of "two-master bedroom" homes has been on the rise since 1990. By 2015, 60% of all upscale custom homes will have this feature built into the house. Evidently, there is a trend to more couples sleeping "estranged".

The issue being discussed here hits the nail on the head for this author and his wife. She works a day job and I do most of my writing at night. Our schedules conflict so much that there is no way we can sleep together. I finish my day around 4 a.m. and she starts hers around 6 a.m. To try and grab several hours sleep with her is just not feasible. "Just stay out of my bed", she jokingly, and lovingly, says.

Eddie and Pam have never slept together! "He snores entirely too much", Pam says. The couple has tried just about every remedy known to man. Yet, Eddie still snores. "We took the steps we did as much for my health as our relationship", Eddie states. Pam chimes back in, "But, he still has somewhat of a problem and we have decided to sleep apart. It's just better that way."

Many guys also seem to have "the jimmy leg". This "condition", named by Kramer on "Seinfeld", is when a person jerks in their sleep, bothering the other half of the couple. In an article online on CNN.com titled "We're married, sleeping separately", one couple alludes to that fact.

Local icon Maury Maverick, attorney, politician and newspaper writer, and his wife not only slept in separate beds, but they slept in adjoining bungalows. Yet, the couple enjoyed a long, lasting marriage together.

Separate bedrooms my be fine with many couples but there are some things to consider. Any issues, such as family, work and medical, between the couple should be dealt with before going to bed. If snoring is a problem or if one of the couple is a light sleeper, often up and down a lot at night, then a closer look at the relationship may be in order.

One of the biggest reasons couples don't sleep together is because one of the couple has insomnia. This is a real concern and a serious medical condition that should be addressed. Writing in the San Antonio Business Journal, local doctors Avie Grunspan and Joshua Rotenberg of Neurology and Sleep Specialists write, "Here’s a rule of thumb: If you need to take a sleeping medication consistently for over a month, we strongly encourage a visit to a sleep specialist to find a safe, effective and long-term solution to your sleep problems. You deserve a good night’s sleep." It may be that a medical condition is keeping a couple sleeping apart.

There may be underlying problems in the union and sleeping apart may just be an excuse for one to leave the bedroom. Couples need to resolve any issues before one leaves the bedroom, whether they are already sleeping separately or planning on doing so.

Sleeping apart just may be more commonplace than many realize. While underlying issues and relationship problems may drive some couples apart, many do so out of habit or necessity and are able to stay happily married. Sleeping separately also gives a couple the option to ask the question that brought so much joy once upon a time in their relationship, "Your place or mine?".